Song of Songs by Beverley Hughesdon & Beverley Hughesdon

Author:Beverley Hughesdon & Beverley Hughesdon
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781910859360
Publisher: Canelo Digital Publishing Ltd
Published: 2017-11-10T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Two

Life was a little easier now that I was singing and playing again; each day had a purpose and a structure which had been lacking over the past couple of months. Now I forced my fingers to re-learn their dexterity, and listened to myself carefully and critically as I sang – trying to coax my voice back to its former suppleness.

But I still worried about Robbie. One evening he did not go out. I found him in the drawing room, hunched over the paper. ‘Not going out tonight, Robbie?’

He did not look up; he just shook his head. Then he burst out, ‘What’s the point? I’m a bloody crock now – I’m no use – I can’t even act like a man any longer!’ And as he spoke I knew he was repeating someone else’s words – and I hated the girl who had said them to him. He shifted in his chair, to turn his back on me, so I left him.

A few days later Ralph Dutton dropped in – he had decided to stay in the army as a regular and they sat talking about the war together; it seemed to cheer Robbie up. Ralph had gone back for the last months, and through into Germany with his men; they spoke about who had survived, so I asked after Lofty and Ginger and Ben Holden. Ralph thought Ginger had been wounded again – he was not quite sure – but he knew both Lofty and Ben Holden had gone on to the end and been demobilized. I was glad of that.

For a while Robbie seemed more cheerful; then Ralph had to leave Town and my brother’s temper shortened again and he began to go out every evening on his own – and to stay out.

My voice was improving; Signor Bianchi took it very slowly at first, saying that I had nearly destroyed it in the war – and I remembered the gas marquee and shivered. But it had not quite gone because Elsa Gehring had laid such strong foundations. Dear Elsa – I wondered how she was coping in Germany today: did people still learn to sing there? But Elsa was a survivor; she would not go under.

I was playing and singing one day in the morning room when Conan came in. ‘Stop that racket and go and put your hat on, Hellie – I’m taking you out to lunch – I want to talk to you.’

We sat in the small restaurant, chatting casually over our meal. Then, when he had finished his ice, he put his spoon down, leant forward and said, ‘I’m going to China.’

I stared at him and repeated stupidly, ‘To China?’

‘That’s right – big place where they’re all yellow with eyes like this.’ He pulled his eyelids up into a grotesque slant and leered at me. ‘Haven’t you noticed I’ve been letting my hair grow long, ready for the pigtail?’ Then he was serious again. ‘A chap I met at Hendon – he’s going out, a flying job – so I thought I might as well go too.

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